The Accidental Urglaawer

I haven’t been able to write since…well, since a few days before the election. I had preemptively called my doctor and asked her to refill my xanax, which I had not used in over five years, because I had a strange feeling I would need it over the following week. She sent the script over quickly and I was relieved to have the pills in hand when election counts were finally complete. I was heading into one of my faith’s deepest dives into shadow time and I was determined to move forward past the election without dwelling in “what might happen” thoughts. I managed to complete a very intense twelve days of journaling and creating a finished artwork for Berchta. I spent time visiting my mother in rehab after she fell and broke her hip. I celebrated Yuul with my kindred and family, and then I got horribly sick. When I finally shook off the brain fog, I looked at the last blog post outline I had written. It talked about the fraktur font and its use both in history and currently. It was spurred on by Musk’s use of it on his hat just days before the election at the “not a nazi rally” at MSG. I was going to talk about how it is a version of gothic/blackletter fonts that was very popular in Germany up until 1941. Hitler  declared that Germany was abandoning the typeface because it was “too Jewish” and moving to a latin typeface. I would have told you that it came to America with the PA Dutch people starting  in the early to mid 1700s, before Germany was even Germany, who used it to create incredibly artistic birth, baptismal, and wedding certificates and illuminated manuscripts. 

That seems like an eon ago. 

The truth is I don’t have to talk about how or what I use fraktur for or what Musk uses it for. It is very clear that those reasons are vastly different. Our words and actions show exactly what it means to each of us. So. I’m going to talk about what comes next.  

I am going to create a new hex as I create this post. I created a hex back on September 20th that was designed to make a push to keep 45 (I will not type his name) out of office and protect our democracy. I had hoped that if enough people saw it, it could somehow help. Maybe it was crazy to think enough people would see it. Maybe all it did was help me focus my own thoughts and intentions. I don’t know. What I do know is that many people reached out to tell me it felt powerful to them. I decided this week that I needed to create a new hex, a new symbol that embodied where I am now in the fight for democracy. The resistance is different from before 45 took office. So many people are in real danger and I can’t sit by and let things happen without some kind of action. I’m calling it The Work. Being disabled, I can only fight certain ways for my own and others rights. I plan to utilize all of them and this blog is just one. 

I first have to decide what runes I want to use for the bindrune at the center of the hex and to form the actual shapes of the hex. I know the first rune will be Tuisco. Representing justice, right action, the struggle for a just cause, and clearing the path. I pulled that rune this morning just before starting work on this blog post. The runes aren’t obvious or anything, dang. Another practical pick is Ur for strength and courage. Schild represents protection, safety, awareness, and vigilance, all of which will be needed for The Work. Eiwe is a ‘fight fire with fire’ kind of rune and may prove to be useful along with Hengscht which represents companion relationships. Usually referencing a horse and rider type relationship, in our use today, I am thinking of unlikely companion relationships, which we need to start thinking about if we are going to make a difference in the fight for democracy. There are two more runes I want to include, which is more than I usually use in a design, but I wanted the extra meaning in this hex. The first is Baerke. This rune offers mental stability, shelter, and concealment which is directly related to the horrifying actions happening right now in our country. It also gives us protection and liberation. It gives cover to those needing it in these scary times. The last rune is Daag. Daag brings with it the ability to absorb all energy sent at it and transmute it into pure life force energy. This ability in particular I want built into the hex so that the negative energy sent towards The Work can be harnessed and used to help instead of hinder. 

With the runes planned, I work to create the stacked rune symbol. As I began drawing the runes, a pattern started to emerge. I noticed that there were squares within squares that got smaller and smaller. There was a spiral of Daag runes moving around those squares creating different patterns at each turn. It reminded me of the different communities we are all a part of and how they move in and around the same circles, sometimes overlapping, sometimes standing together, almost all of them one of the marginalized groups that have been targeted this past week. I started to see the movement of the runes as an ever changing labyrinth that would confuse the one way linear thinking of the fascists that might set eyes on this hex. It would transmute any negative rhetoric they spewed forth and turn it into universal healing energy that would find any and all unsafe persons in our country today to give them energy, protection, invisibility, whatever would give them an extra push to safety. That not only includes the people directly targeted in the past weeks sweeping orders, but the indirect victims as well, such as Jan 6th surviving police or  family members of the Proud Boy leader and others being absolved of any wrongdoing for the violent actions they engaged in and promoted.  I prayed they would fail because of their ineptness, fall because of their hubris, fight amongst themselves because of their egos. All of that is the intention of the stacked rune. That is The Work.

The only rune that hadn’t been represented yet was Hengscht. I knew I wanted to use it as the outer border. That rune was a representation of the unlikely allies we have to find common ground with and stand beside if the resistance to fascism is going to work. There are only two “sides” anymore. The nazi wannabes and anyone who isn’t a nazi. There is no in between. In between is what got us a holocaust. It wasn’t that long ago and I can’t believe it has to be explained to people like they are four. If you aren’t a nazi, there is only one reaction to what is going on. Not let it happen without a fight. To that end, I hope that those who are not nazis, no matter the kind, will add their energy to this cause should this hex come across their path. 

I wanted to mimic the image of the swirling runes I had envisioned as well as subtly suggest the idea of being lost in a labyrinth. Aside from the shapes, I knew the colors would play a part in creating that motion. The colors I wanted to use started with blue. We are well trained and most people would split our country into red republicans and blue democrats. More than that, blue is the color of the ocean and the sky, both of which are in danger of losing their clear brilliance. The next color was yellow. The brightest yellow representing the break of dawn and the ability of the Daag rune to transform any negative energy into bright healing energy. As I was sitting at my desk this morning, a Human Rights Campaign sticker fell to the floor. I decided that those would be the blue and yellow I would use. I found a shape that satisfied both my intentions and my creative eye. 

Each color that makes up the outer border was filled in by hand rather than color filling the spaces. As I colored each one, I thought about past generations of activists, people that I knew and cared deeply for who died of AIDS in the 80s, every trans person that I know, and every one that I do not know. Other minority religionists – especially those that held on to part of their culture when they “converted” to xianity. Single parents, same sex marriages, mixed race children, the homeless population, disabled people, people living in poverty, people working several jobs and still not making ends meet, all the immigrants here whether legal or illegal. I thought of all the “not a nazi” people hoping this message would reach them and somehow give them the hope or energy they need to continue their fight or somehow shake them out of their trance if they haven’t woken up yet. I hoped it would reach every unlikely ally.

I can always tell when one of my designs works because I feel it in my heart. Not “I love all my work” feel it in my heart, because that isn’t even close to true! What I mean is that it makes my heart hurt either for good reasons or bad. It makes me feel deeply about its story. It feels like I left a piece of my own soul with it. This one hurt a little more than usual I must say, because it holds so much in its design. It holds democracy, freedom of speech, freedom of religion, equal right for all. It holds respect for and stewardship of the earth and all its living things.

It holds hope. Go find your unlikely allies.

Macht’s immer besser.